Resources

Below are resources, worksheets, and books lists that may be used in or support work done in session. (Inclusion of material doesn’t denote complete agreement with content; material are the property of the author)

  • The Fear Cycle is the “merry-go-round” of arguments that keep couples stuck in the same pattern for years. Use this form to dig deeper into what is truly going on in these conflicts. Fear Cycle
  • Gottman Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse- these four behaviors have shown to be consistent predictors of divorce. Four Horsemen
  • Antidotes to the Four Horseman- Antidotes
  • Time Out Plan Worksheet- Our Time Out Plan
  • 5 Love Languages Assessment- Love Languages

Book List:

How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patricia Love Ed.D and Steven Stosny, Ph.D

ACT with Love by Russ Harris, MD

How to Argue So Your Spouse Will Listen by Sharon Morris May (Christian faith incorporated throughout; strongly scientific basis)

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman and Nan Silver

Book List:

When Good Men Behave Badly by David Wexler, Ph.D

The Irritable Male Syndrome by Jed Diamond

I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real

Breaking the Cycle: free yourself from sex addiction, porn obsession, and shame  by George Collins

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William Struthers (Christian)

  • Military One Source– non-medical individual and couples counseling, financial counseling, tax help, and more.
  • FOCUS Project is a free service available to active duty Service Members and their families. They provide resiliency skills training using a relational model which is designed to support the family and/or couple through the challenges that are common to military families. Programs for local Navy Commands and Naval Special Warfare commands.
  • Headstrong– Cost-free, bureaucracy-free mental health treatment outside the VA and military medical system. Special focus on treating PTSD with EMDR (a highly effective modality). They fund services through a local provider in Virginia Beach and around the country.

Book List-

5 Love Languages for Military Couples by Gary Chapman and Jocelyn Green

Websites-

affairrecovery.com

beyondaffairs.com

 

Book List-

Getting Past the Affair– Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon

Not “just friends” : rebuilding trust and recovering your sanity after infidelity– Shirley P Glass; Jean Coppock Staeheli

How to help your spouse heal from your affair: a compact manual for the unfaithful– Linda J MacDonald

After the affair: healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful– Janis Abrahms Spring; Michael Spring

Unfaithful : hope and healing after infidelity– Gary Shriver; Mona Shriver (Christian)

Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back– Stephen Arterburn, Jason Martinkus (Christian)

  • Mindfulness “Dropping Anchor” audio- Russ Harris offers this audio in a variety of lengths (from 40 seconds to 11 minutes) and can be listened to right from you phone or computer- Russ Harris Audio
  • Use his form to identify, clarify, and rank life values- Values Checklist – Russ Harris
  • Choice Point form often used in sessions to clarify impacts of thoughts/feelings, clarify goals/values, and identify skills needed “unhook” from what holds you back. (Created by Russ Harris, with modifications)

Book List

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety by Forsyth and Eifert

Act on Life Not on Anger by Eifert, McKay, and Forsyth

Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: A Guide to Life Liberated from Anxiety by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene

Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes

Finding Life Beyond Trauma by Follette and Pistorello

The Wisdom to Know the Difference by Kelly Wilson and Troy DuFrene